Rage Against the Machine
Not to be confused with Rage, a much better, but still pretty terrible, band. Rage Against the Machine, also known by fans as "RATM", is a nu metal band known for their angry, politically-charged lyrics. The band was founded in 1991 by vocalist Angry Rapping Mexican and guitarist Tom Morello. Since then, they have released four albums of shitty rap metal that is an insult to everything metal. At least, they would be an insult to metal, were it not for the fact that Rage Against the Machine are not in any way, shape or form "metal". The fact that they use rapped vocals directly decreases how "metal" they are, because rap has nothing to do with metal, and as a result, if something has rapped vocals, it cannot be metal. The band is widely approved of by both moronic mallgoths and faux-revolutionary hipsters who want to overthrow the government and make the president a hippie. They also have a following amongst little kids who played Guitar Hero and heard "Killing in the Name" while bashing on a badly-made plastic controller. Origins Back in the eighties, when hair metal and thrash metal bands were fighting each-other to try and gain control of the metal scene, Angry Rapping Mexican, whose artist father had recently killed himself after forcing his son to destroy his paintings, decided to form a punk band called "Lock Up", named after the grindcore band. Like most punk bands, Lock Up were politically-charged, and like most politically-charged punk bands, Lock Up were strongly left-wing, and like most politically-charged, strongly left-wing punk bands, Lock Up fucking sucked. Still, at least ARM didn't rap; he mainly screamed into the microphone about how Ronnie Reagan didn't like Hispanic people. Meanwhile, at around the same time, a mysterious hat-wearing man named Tom Morello decided to form his own band, the metalcore outfit Inside Out. For Inside Out, Morello recruited his two high-school friends, Short Jewish Drummer and Big Tattooed Man, to play drums and bass respectively. SJD and BTM were in a homosexual relationship at the time, and one night, after driving them to a hotel where they would have kinky buttsex, Morello encountered a prostitute named Chris Cornell, who was screaming at a customer who didn't give him enough money. Cornell's screams impressed Morello so much that the latter hired the former as vocalist, paying him back the money that his customer owed him. Cornell was a shit singer, but luckily, you don't need to sing well in a metalcore band; you just need to scream. Both Lock Up and Inside Out each gained underground credibility as Megadeth slugged it out with W*A*S*P; in 1991, however, Nirvana released Nevermind, and most of the thrash and hair metal bands broke up or sold out, leaving bands like Lock Up and Inside Out as the focus of the mainstream. ARM left Lock Up, who recruited a new vocalist, a straight-edge vegan who renamed the band "Earth Crisis"; Inside Out broke up, with Cornell joining Soundgarden (replacing Layne Staley, who had just left to join Alice in Chains) and the other three members drifting apart. Later in the year, Morello was in a bar in Los Angeles, getting ridiculously drunk and picking barfights with random strangers who beat him up; eventually, Morello encountered ARM, and the two had a drunken fight that ended when ARM did a freestyle rap that knocked Morello unconscious. Morello was in the hospital for Debut Album, Mainstream Success Category:Alternative metal bands Category:Nu metal bands Category:Progressive metal bands